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Our children can be our greatest teachers. Parenting expert Susan Stiffelman writes that the very behaviors that push our buttons — refusing to cooperate or ignoring our requests — can help us build awareness and shed old patterns, allowing us to raise our children with greater ease and enjoyment. Filled with practical advice, powerful exercises, and fascinating stories from her clinical work, Parenting with Presence teaches us how to become the parents we most want to be while raising confident, caring children.
- Sales Rank: #14147 in Books
- Published on: 2015-04-14
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.40" h x .90" w x 5.40" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 288 pages
Review
“Shows parents how they can transform parenting into a spiritual practice.”
— Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now
“Clear, wise, soulful, and poetic.”
— Alanis Morissette
“I trust Susan Stiffelman with my heart, my family, and my community because she understands that parenting is not just a job but a spiritual practice. Susan comes alongside parents both as an expert and as a guide, a counselor, a friend, a healer.”
— Glennon Doyle Melton, author of Carry On, Warrior and founder of Momastery.com
“An empathic tenderness runs through this wise and down-to-earth guide to parenting with greater awareness. You can feel the love that Susan Stiffelman has for the families she works with in her therapy practice and her confidence in all of us to grow into the challenges and gifts of being a parent.”
— Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn, authors of Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting
“With her mix of practical tools and personal stories, Susan Stiffelman shows how to create close, loving family relationships and captures just how transformational and fulfilling parenthood can be.”
— Arianna Huffington, author of Thrive
“This book brings new awareness about a parenting process that increases the health of our culture itself. Recommended to all parents and parents-to-be.”
— Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, authors of Giving the Love That Heals: A Guide for Parents
“This is exactly the advice and support you need as a parent! Seasoned, wise, and practical, Parenting with Presence helps parents take a deep breath and tend themselves and their kids with compassion, love, and mindfulness.”
— Jack Kornfield, author of A Path with Heart, and Trudy Goodman, PhD, founder of InsightLA
“Parenting with Presence is a gentle but powerful reminder that our own awareness, our own calmness, and our ability to respond and not react to stressful situations are fundamental to raising healthy kids. . . . This is an important work.”
— Tim Ryan, US Representative from Ohio and author of A Mindful Nation
“Who knew that the child or teen crying in the next room is actually our spiritual teacher? Who would have thought that annoying outbursts and provocative behavior could lead to more conscious, spiritually tuned-in, effective, even enjoyable parenting? Susan Stiffelman’s groundbreaking, immensely readable guide teaches all we need to know about how to nurture our children — and ourselves — to become more conscious, compassionate, and, believe it or not, calmer human beings.”
— Kathy Eldon, founder and chairman of the Creative Visions Foundation
“I stole it from my mother and devoured it! A fantastic read that should be mandatory for all parents. I cannot wait for it to come out so I can hand it out to everyone I know.”
— Amy Eldon Turteltaub, cofounder of the Creative Visions Foundation and vice president of Creative Visions Productions
“One of the best parenting books I’ve seen in a long while. With clarity, warmth, and wisdom, Susan Stiffelman bridges the world of spiritual transformation with the down-to-earth realities of parenting. Parenting with Presence is full of insights that will set parents on a path of healing and joy. I highly recommend it!”
— Elisha Goldstein, PhD, author of Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion
“As a mother, I found myself powerfully moved by the insights and exercises in Parenting with Presence. Susan Stiffelman delicately explores what many parenting experts avoid — the deeper layers of fear, guilt, and shame that thwart our ability to be fully present for those aspects of parenting we find most challenging. A beautiful offering to us all.”
— Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of Conscious Uncoupling
“An enlightened guide to parenting for anyone wanting to raise caring, happy, resilient children while healing their own unfinished childhood issues, Parenting with Presence is filled with parental wisdom intelligently presented and richly woven with examples from real life. A gem of a book!”
— Marci Shimoff, author of Happy for No Reason
“In Parenting with Presence, renowned expert Susan Stiffelman offers a unique way to bring up our children that combines both wisdom and compassion. Thoroughly practical, the approaches she shares in this remarkable book could help us parents create a strong basis for a truly loving and compassionate connection with our children, while also bringing out the best from us — our presence, joy, understanding, and kindness.”
— Thupten Jinpa, principal English translator to the Dalai Lama and author of A Fearless Heart
“While reading Parenting with Presence, I kept saying to myself, ‘I wish my parents had read this book!’ Finally a book on parenting that speaks to all aspects of our ‘inner child’ and gives each of us the kind of guidance that not only educates but transforms, uplifts, and nurtures both child and parent. Bravo!”
— Janet Bray Attwood, New York Times bestselling author of The Passion Test: The Effortless Path to Discovering Your Life Purpose
"Stiffelman’s engaging work gives parents tools to navigate confidently in both calm and stormy family seas."
— Publishers Weekly
About the Author
Susan Stiffelman, MFT, is an internationally respected parent educator, therapist, author, and parenting expert. She is the Huffington Post’s weekly parenting advice columnist (Parent Coach) and the author of Parenting Without Power Struggles. She lives in Malibu, California.
Most helpful customer reviews
22 of 23 people found the following review helpful.
Parenting ~ When things get very real, very fast.
By Paula W. Graham
It’s Mother’s Day, 2015. My own daughter is grown and gone, living half a country away, where she is rearing three children who call me Nana. We’ll chat by phone later today, and I'll tell her about the new book I just read by therapist and educator Susan Stiffelman: Parenting with Presence. I wish I had had Stiffelman’s book in my hip pocket when I was a young parent. I wish my mother had known of Stiffelman’s wise and relaxed approach to child rearing. It might have helped ease her stress as she juggled a full-time job with the demands of raising three children as a single mom.
Stress. As Stiffelman compassionately explains, stress is undermining the health and happiness of children as young as the eight year old who showed up in her office saying she wanted to kill herself. And then there are the teens who use cutting to ease anxiety. Kids who can’t sleep, can’t eat, are afraid of being alone. “It is heartbreaking,” says Stiffelman. “Childhood is brief. . . As parents we have a dramatic influence on our children’s beliefs about what matters.”
How we handle our own stress and/or react when our kids throw us curve balls, teaches them by example. Childhood may be brief, but its lessons can linger for a life time and beyond. Responding vs reacting is key, and Stiffelman encourages parents to learn and practice new skills so the past does not hold children hostage to unfinished parental business. She dedicates an entire chapter to tools, tips and strategies that parents can practice, as well as activities to try with their kids. For sure, she wants parents and children to enjoy life and know that it is not something to push and shove our way through. Children, she says, need to know that we want them to live with curiosity, excitement and enthusiasm.
Stiffelman’s book is a great gift for Mother’s Day, Father’ Day — for the Day-in and Day-out adventure of child rearing. It’s a comforting, compassion guide to navigating parenthood, that phase of life when Stiffelman says, “things get very real, very fast.”
20 of 22 people found the following review helpful.
Finally, A Parenting Book I Wanted to Read in One Sitting
By Nancy Schatz Alton
I read Susan Stiffelman's new book in one 24-hour rush. I'm so thankful for her. Her voice in this book is like a loving guide talking you through the hard moments of parenting, and also helping the reader appreciate (and enjoy) the amazing ride of being a parenting. It's full of helpful examples, and the end of the book has a great round-up of tools, tips, and strategies. A small aside: I think this is the first parenting book I have ever finished reading.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
The Spirituality of the Parent-Child Relationship - A How-to Book
By Dennis Coates
My preference is to think of spirituality as being grounded in this world and this life, not in the concept of a world and life beyond the here and now. And it has three dimensions: the spirituality of self, the spirituality of relationships, and the spirituality of my relationship to the planet and the cosmos. Eckhart Tolle’s books (The Power of Now & A New Earth) are my favorite source of enlightenment about the spirituality of the self.
Obviously, Susan Stiffelman, author, teacher and therapist, has learned from Tolle, too. The introduction to her new book was written by Tolle, and the book is an “Eckhart Tolle edition” of New World Library. What I enjoy most about Parenting with Presence is the way she puts flesh and bones on the spirituality of relationships—specifically, the relationship between parent and child. And this is the theme of her wonderful book, Parenting with Presence, which coaches us in the many dimensions of parenting how to be present with your child, how to make that relationship a spiritual experience.
This is not some kind of woo-woo, feel-good book. It's a practical, experience-based, hands-on description about how to grow and learn from parenting; how to be “real” with your child; how to teach respect, empathy, and compassion; and how to communicate with your child. It is beautifully written, with exercises and FAQs at the end of each chapter.
Stiffelman is also the author of Parenting without Power Struggles (1012) And now this new work is one of my favorite parenting books.
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