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Funny things happen when a scatterbrained young American named Mike goes to Paris to become rich and famous composing wise and wonderful aphorisms. Commercial success eludes him, yet he nevertheless enjoys an exciting lifestyle of Left Bank hijinks...until he meets and marries a strange Russian girl whose family makes its living by stealing from senile old people. As the story begins, Mike is living with his wife's family in a large apartment belonging to his wife's wealthy godmother. The family is bilking her. Furious at his ignoble domestic situation, and disappointed by the failure of his aphorisms business, Mike decides to murder the leader of the family, his wife’s diabolical aunt, in order to win the godmother's fortune for himself. He enlists the help of two friends: a highly competent but amoral Englishman and a crazy Italian-American painter. Elaborate schemes are hatched, all of which move Mike toward a new career, one less glamorous than originally envisioned but better suited to his talents.
- Sales Rank: #2174081 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-04-01
- Released on: 2015-04-01
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Robert Kettering is a longtime resident of Paris, France, where he divides his time between the café on the corner and the one down the street, while simultaneously endeavoring to produce humor pieces for the Website dearprofessorknowledge.com.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Not for me, so sorry
By Ellen Fitzpatrick
I'm sorry.. I wanted to like it. I started bookmarking all the parts I had problems with. But maybe this is a writer's book for writers. Like so many new writers, Mr. Kettering writes about being a writer. He says he's a typist. He must be. He's a man and writes about being a man, with the promise in the title that it will become either "dark" or a "comedy." Never happened. It's a story about a man being a man, no insight, nobody but him and a mentor who's called "Homer," either because he's a hick from rural USA or a stand-in for the original and only Homer.
This book is about an unhappy, disappointed man who can type, apparently in bulk. A man who resents rejection letters from publishers while holding out some hope that they want more of his typescript from him.
No insight, no contemplation, no editing, men being men. Maybe men will enjoy it more than I do, so maybe it's a man's book and not my genre.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Good writing that rapidly goes from fun to exhausting and bewildering
By Josh Mauthe
Robert Kettering is a pretty entertaining writer. He's got a great manic sensibility, and his voice works wonderfully in creating this ADHD-style narrator who's constantly juggling a bunch of different threads, plot ideas, a book, and multiple lovers. So, whatever else I'm going to say about Ticket on a Crippled Crab, know that I think Kettering isn't a bad writer. What he is bad at, though, is storytelling. I think, deep down, he even knows it a little bit; his narrator frequently comments that he's bad at focusing, and that he has a tendency to ramble on. But knowing you have an issue with something doesn't necessarily excuse it, and when you're telling a crime story - even a goofy, farcical one like this - you need to be able to find a throughline somewhere. Instead, Ticket is borderline incomprehensible, wandering all over creation, tossing together too many characters, not quite bringing enough to full life, and trying to put together a convoluted storyline that would be complicated even without a narrator who can't focus. The result, then, is a book whose cleverness and wit end up feeling exhausting and irritating, not fun. And that's a shame, because I would enjoy Kettering's anecdotes in brief doses, and liked the way he wasn't afraid to make his narrator the butt of the joke. But as a novel, what's entertaining for a few pages gets wearying, and the fact that the story makes no sense becomes frustrating, not funny. Kettering is clearly a gifted writer, and I bet his essays and short stories are a lot of fun. But this voice doesn't work for a novel; no matter how good the writing is, you end up feeling like you're trapped at a party with a rambling blowhard who's fun at first, but just doesn't know when to stop.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
I really had a hard time keeping up with this ...
By Gulf Coast Singer
I really had a hard time keeping up with this book. It jumped around a lot. I read the whole book and kept up with the many characters involved but I just didn't see much that was comical.
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