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Eve's Diary (Illustrated), by Mark Twain
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Satire of Adam & Eve
Excerpt:
SATURDAY.—I am almost a whole day old, now. I arrived yesterday. That is as it seems to me. And it must be so, for if there was a day-before-yesterday I was not there when it happened, or I should remember it. It could be, of course, that it did happen, and that I was not noticing. Very well; I will be very watchful now, and if any day-before-yesterdays happen I will make a note of it. It will be best to start right and not let the record get confused, for some instinct tells me that these details are going to be important to the historian some day. For I feel like an experiment, I feel exactly like an experiment; it would be impossible for a person to feel more like an experiment than I do, and so I am coming to feel convinced that that is what I AM—an experiment; just an experiment, and nothing more.
Then if I am an experiment, am I the whole of it? No, I think not; I think the rest of it is part of it. I am the main part of it, but I think the rest of it has its share in the matter. Is my position assured, or do I have to watch it and take care of it? The latter, perhaps. Some instinct tells me that eternal vigilance is the price of supremacy. [That is a good phrase, I think, for one so young.]
Everything looks better today than it did yesterday. In the rush of finishing up yesterday, the mountains were left in a ragged condition, and some of the plains were so cluttered with rubbish and remnants that the aspects were quite distressing. Noble and beautiful works of art should not be subjected to haste; and this majestic new world is indeed a most noble and beautiful work. And certainly marvelously near to being perfect, notwithstanding the shortness of the time. There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others, but that can be remedied presently, no doubt. The moon got loose last night, and slid down and fell out of the scheme—a very great loss; it breaks my heart to think of it. There isn't another thing among the ornaments and decorations that is comparable to it for beauty and finish. It should have been fastened better. If we can only get it back again—
But of course there is no telling where it went to. And besides, whoever gets it will hide it; I know it because I would do it myself. I believe I can be honest in all other matters, but I already begin to realize that the core and center of my nature is love of the beautiful, a passion for the beautiful, and that it would not be safe to trust me with a moon that belonged to another person and that person didn't know I had it. I could give up a moon that I found in the daytime, because I should be afraid some one was looking; but if I found it in the dark, I am sure I should find some kind of an excuse for not saying anything about it. For I do love moons, they are so pretty and so romantic. I wish we had five or six; I would never go to bed; I should never get tired lying on the moss-bank and looking up at them.
- Published on: 2015-04-23
- Released on: 2015-04-23
- Format: Kindle eBook
From the Publisher
This book is in Electronic Paperback Format. If you view this book on any of the computer systems below, it will look like a book. Simple to run, no program to install. Just put the CD in your CDROM drive and start reading. The simple easy to use interface is child tested at pre-school levels.
Windows 3.11, Windows/95, Windows/98, OS/2 and MacIntosh and Linux with Windows Emulation.
Includes Quiet Vision's Dynamic Index. the abilty to build a index for any set of characters or words.
This Electronic Paperback is illustrated.
About the Author
Mark Twain (1835 –1910) was an American author and humorist. He is noted for his novels Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885), called "the Great American Novel", and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876). Twain grew up in Hannibal, Missouri, which would later provide the setting for Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer. He apprenticed with a printer. He also worked as a typesetter and contributed articles to his older brother Orion's newspaper. After toiling as a printer in various cities, he became a master riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River, before heading west to join Orion. He was a failure at gold mining, so he next turned to journalism. While a reporter, he wrote a humorous story, The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, which proved to be very popular and brought him nationwide attention. His travelogues were also well-received. Twain had found his calling. He achieved great success as a writer and public speaker. His wit and satire earned praise from critics and peers, and he was a friend to presidents, artists, industrialists, and European royalty. However, he lacked financial acumen. Though he made a great deal of money from his writings and lectures, he squandered it on various ventures, in particular the Paige Compositor, and was forced to declare bankruptcy. With the help of Henry Huttleston Rogers, however, he eventually overcame his financial troubles. Twain worked hard to ensure that all of his creditors were paid in full, even though his bankruptcy had relieved him of the legal responsibility. Born during a visit by Halley's Comet, he died on its return. He was lauded as the "greatest American humorist of his age", and William Faulkner called Twain "the father of American literature".
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Eve's Diary: Mark Twain's tiny masterpiece, banned no longer
By John Williamson
Only someone with such a splendid sense of humor and a joy for life as Mark Twain could have pulled this off... but there's a story behind the story, and another one beyond that, so read on.
Eve's Diary is an entertaining, truly delightful piece written in the style of a diary kept by the first woman, Eve. This Kindle version has all of the illustrations that were done by Lester Ralph. Originally published in the 1905 Christmas issue of Harper's Bazaar magazine, it was popular enough to be subsequently published in book format in June 1906 by the Harper & Brothers publishing house. You'll see the red cover of that first edition posted by this reviewer in the images here.
Mark Twain was 70 at the time of the initial publication of this story, and his works in his later years were inclined to be somewhat critical and even vitriolic. But this little story was warm, heartfelt, and emotional. He had suffered the loss of his much-loved wife Livy in 1904, and it's clear that he had reflected on his married existence in Eve's Diary as his own private Eden with Livy. Through his words we see the `first woman' to be more open, candid and seemingly smarter than her companion, and his life was all the better for her being there.
Mark Twain wrote the story in the style of a diary kept by Eve, the first woman in the Judeo-Christian creation. It's claimed by the author to have been "translated from the original MS." The storyline of Twain's novel is the first-person account of Eve from her creation up to her burial by her mate, Adam, including meeting and getting to know him, and exploring the world around her, the Garden of Eden. The following is posted here not as a spoiler but as a teaser, and is the first entry of Eve's diary:
"SATURDAY. -- I am almost a whole day old, now. I arrived yesterday. That is as it seems to me. And it must be so, for if there was a day-before-yesterday I was not there when it happened, or I should remember it. It could be, of course, that it did happen, and that I was not noticing. Very well; I will be very watchful now, and if any day-before-yesterdays happen I will make a note of it. It will be best to start right and not let the record get confused, for some instinct tells me that these details are going to be important to the historian some day. For I feel like an experiment, I feel exactly like an experiment; it would be impossible for a person to feel more like an experiment than I do, and so I am coming to feel convinced that that is what I AM--an experiment; just an experiment, and nothing more."
In this Kindle edition, that journal entry is placed it's placed between two of Lester Ralph's beautifully rendered black and white line drawings. The story goes on and then jumps forty years into the future after the fall and expulsion from Eden.
This one of a string of books that Twain wrote concerning the tale of Adam and Eve, including 'Extracts from Adam's Diary,' 'That Day In Eden,' 'Eve Speaks,' 'Adam's Soliloquy,' and the 'Autobiography of Eve.' `Eve's Diary' was a short companion piece to his earlier comic story `Extracts from Adam's Diary,' a light comical burlesque on the Book of Genesis.
But there's more to the story than this.
The original book version of the story was published with 55 illustrations by Lester Ralph, and they depicted Eve and Adam in their natural settings... in other words, in their birthday suits. Some considered the depiction of an unclothed woman obscene when the book was first released in the United States, and that resulted in a controversy around the book.
Then The New York Times posted an article dated November 24, 1906, noting that `'Eve's Diary' had been among 100 books bought for the Charlton Public Library in Massachusetts, and had been barred by Frank O. Wakefield, one of the Trustees. The other Trustees concurred with him. The librarian, Mrs. Hattie L. Carpenter, had looked through it, and had brought this book to his attention. As the Times reported:
"After looking long and earnestly at on picture depicting Eve pensively reclining on a rock, Mr. Wakefield decided to act."
When contacted about this event, Mark Twain responded: "The action of the Charlton library was not of the slightest interest to me."
But the banned book story doesn't end there.
On September 21, 2011, the New York Times ran an article stating that after 105 years `Eve's Diary' was back on the shelf. Richard Whitehead, a new library trustee at that same library happened to stumble on the old forgotten controversy about the book. As the article reported:
"More than a century later, Mr. Whitehead and his fellow trustees voted unanimously (with one of the six absent) on Tuesday to lift the ban and bring `Eve's Diary' back to their brick library on Main Street. Two copies of the book -- with Mr. Ralph's illustrations, which now seem quite chaste -- were put into circulation on Wednesday, as was an audio version for those who prefer to conjure their own images."
Even better, the library made the book the focus of their exhibit for national Banned Book Week, which started that weekend.
And now you can enjoy your own copy of Mark Twain's banned book right here. Though there's no table of contents, this is a nicely formatted Kindle edition, and the publishers should be commended for keeping the original version intact... just as it was when the late library trustee Frank Wakefield opened the red cover of Eve's Diary over a century ago, and after looking "long and earnestly" at the picture that depicted "Eve pensively reclining on a rock," and he decided to act, obviously in the public welfare.
Something tells me that the ghost of Mark Twain had a good laugh over that.
10/3/2012
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
A companion to "Extracts From Adam's Diary"
By DWD's Reviews
"Eve's Diary" and "Extracts from Adam's Diary" are often sold together but they were not originally published together. "Adam's Diary" is a must read before you read this one, in my opinion because "Eve's Diary" is really just supplemental to "Adam's".
"Adam's Diary" is also the superior work - it is much funnier, contains many more entries and is truly a stand-alone work.
However, they really are intended to be read as a set so go ahead and get them both.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A Fun Short Story
By Daryl Lee Spiewak
Mark Twain was a great author and had a unique way of looking at the world. He brought that uniqueness to his stories, of which this is only one. Written in the same first-person style as Letters from the Earth, it is fun to read and speculate if the story were close to being true. My only issue is that it ends too quickly.
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